What is Coaching?
Life Coaching is simply a collaboration between the coach and the client with the intention of bringing forth inner insights, that all of us possess, for the purpose of creating the life of our choosing. Sometimes it’s about getting “unstuck.” Other times it’s about creating strategies for making life transitions. It could be about setting goals and developing plans on achieving them. No matter what the situation, the job of a coach is assisting the client in finding the inner answers and supporting those insights.
Stress Management Specialist Garen Adjemian puts it this way, “Everyone, at some point in their life, will need someone to guide them through the mucky haze and back to safe grounds. In a world full of adversity and uncertain futures, it’s always comforting to know that there’s someone out there — whether it’s a friend, a therapist or a coach — to give us a helping hand.
“(A Life Coach) is someone who will help improve your personal and/or professional life by offering support and encouragement while suggesting new ways to achieve your goals. A life coach is more of a partnership than anything else. It is a support system with one goal in mind: improving your quality of life.”
“Professional coaches, through a partnership with the client, are there to help produce positive results, whether in their professional or personal lives. They help people perform better and ultimately improve the quality of their lives.”
We often think of DIY in terms of home improvement. But DIY isn’t just about home improvement or cooking or entertaining, or crafting or sewing or whatever it is you have learned to love to do for yourself. DIY simply refers to building, modifying, or repairing something though self-reliance; taking on the tasks oneself vs. having others complete them for us.
The idea of learning to make it yourself not only relates to tasks, it also has a far larger context. Essentially, it can be applied to how we approach our overall lives. Let’s face it, most of us, at least at some point and time, will find ourselves building, re-building, modifying or repairing portions of our lives.
In essence, each of our lives is the ultimate DIY project. Whether we admit it or not, there really is no other way around it. Yes we live in communities. We have friends and family that we interact with. We get into relationships. We are influenced by culture, religion, race and societal norms. But when all is said and done, we ultimately are the only ones who can live our lives.
No one can breathe for us. No one can feel for us. No one can truly think for us. The life we live is ultimately ours, and it is ours to do with as we so choose. And if that’s not DIY, I don’t know what is.
Taking on the task of creating that life, instead of looking to others to do it for you, does not mean, however, you are an expert. Although you ultimately have, within you, everything you need to accomplish what you set your mind to, you may initially have to discover your talents and then continually practice them until they are second nature. So though you don’t need someone to complete the job for you, you, like everyone else, will find that you might need to seek out assistance in gaining information and in building your confidence.
Thus there is no real conflict between working with a coach and seeking to do it yourself. Yes, creating the life that you desire is the definitive example of DIY; for you are ultimately responsible for the life you choose to lead. You will find, though, that things often work most efficiently with the proper guidance and support along the way. And this is where coaching comes in.
“DIY culture says “no” to the idea that there is an established answer. And it says “yes” to empowering an individual to develop answers for (him or) herself…DIY culture embraces a powerful notion: you can have what you want if you can learn to make it yourself.”
– Tara Gentile, Editor and Chief of Soutiegirl
But What About That Word, Soul?
For many, just the mention of the word soul can be offputting. The idea of a Soul can be a sticky subject. For many, if not most, the Soul has religious connotations. But that is not, at all, the concept I am speaking of here.
If you are wondering if there is some sort of religious aspect to this site, or me as a coach, let me assure you that there is not. My coaching practice is not based on any specific religious beliefs, spiritual practices or dogma. My goal is not to persuade you in one way or another when it comes to your spiritual beliefs – whether you have them or not.
My sole purpose is to help you understand that you possess far more power than you’ve likely ever been taught or imagined you have, and that you can tap into that potential and forge your dreams. And I believe this is applicable to anyone, whatever his or her personal creed.
When I refer to the Soul, I am referring to the life that runs through you. I’m talking about energy; the energy that we call life.
If you’ve ever been close to a body in a casket, you likely noticed that for as much as the body looked like the person you knew and loved, something was missing. They were there, kind of, but somehow you knew they weren’t.
It was that spark of life, that presence, which was not there. And when I refer to the Soul, this is what I am referring to. I’m talking about the deepest part of you that feels joy, love, serenity, and a sense of well being. I am referring to that thing that makes you inherently and uniquely you.
This is not to be confused with your internal dialogue. Any part of you that tells you that you can’t, that you’re not worthy, that you shouldn’t even try — no matter how loud that voice is — is not your Soul. This is your ego. And although your ego serves a very valuable purpose, it is what often holds you back.
But your Soul will never hold you back. It only sees possibilities; not probabilities. This is precisely the portion of you that we want to access. Because the goal is that, together, we work towards creating your dreams. And if you wish to have the life you desire, you must use your ego to do the work, but let your Soul hold the dream.
What’s in it for You?
Each of our lives are a direct result of who we think we are. We carry around with us a story about ourselves and how we see ourselves in the world. It is a story that was put into place mostly by what others told us about ourselves, mixed in with how we’ve interpreted past experiences. And this story guides nearly every thought we have and thus what actions we take.
I, like so many of us, carried around a story that wasn’t overly positive; that didn’t really foster, in me, a good sense of self esteem. But I was very fortunate, over the years, to have had people in my life who helped me recognize my full potential and push me in actually working to reach it. My entire outlook on myself, and life, was altered by those who taught me to challenge my limiting beliefs. Because of this, I have been able to create, for myself, a strong mental and emotional foundation. And looking back, I wonder how different my life would be today, if I had not had help, and the guidance that assisted me in building that foundation.
Coaching helps challenge your story and broaden your perspective, thus automatically broadening your possibilities. It assists in tackling expectations of yourself, of other people and of life itself. It focuses on acceptance – self-acceptance and learning to accept life on life’s terms – because making truly effective and lasting changes in your life is only accomplished when we can accept a thing for exactly what it is. And finally, it is the beginning of the process of building a true support system that will buoy you in every situation you find yourself in.
What’s in it for you? How about a little less worry, a lot more confidence and learning to navigate life with a lot more ease and grace.
As a coach, my job is helping you to become the best you that you can be. It’s not about doing it for you, though. A coach’s purpose is to help you develop new skills, and more importantly, to show you that much of what you think you lack is, and always was, right inside of you.
Interested in becoming a coach? Simply click the image below.