Welcome the the DIY for Your Soul Weekly Podcasts. The podcasts cover a variety of Personal Development topics, and each is approximately 15 minutes in length.
The link for each respective podcast goes live at 10AM ET on the date listed. You can also listen them, for free, on iTunes. To access them on iTunes, simply type DIY for Your Soul Podcast into the iTunes Store search engine.
To subscribe to these podcasts on iTunes, click the following link here. Once in iTunes, click View in iTunes and then click Subscribe.
|09/06/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Manipulation|
|We all have our own issues that we bring to the table. In many instances, our issues clash. Each of us is playing out our issues never thinking of what affect it has on those around us. We are too absorbed own personal mythology.
In the podcast about Control, we looked the human tendency to want to hold sway over our fellow man. We talked about how we try to get those around us, especially those who we are closest to, who are different in some way, to be the people we want them to be – to believe, think and act in a manner that we deem correct.
But most people don’t like to be controlled. When it becomes obvious that this is what we are up to, they tend to put up a fight – or they play along, but do what they want to do anyway. So we have to change tactics. We find subtler ways of exerting our power over them.
In this podcast, we’re diving a little deeper into the subject of control. We’re looking at the tool many of us use to try influence others into being who we want them to be. We’re talking about manipulation, and how it may work in the short term, but in the long term, it’s usually disastrous.
|09/13/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – An Expectation is a Premeditated Resentment|
|There are many reasons we find ourselves wishing that things were different than what they are. One is that we tend to judge most things, especially in terms of good and bad. We want to experience only what we deem good and keep the bad at bay.
We compare and despair, mistaking what we see on the outside as truth, not realizing that things aren’t often as they seem. We might begin to think that something is wrong with us. We take on a woe is me attitude and soon find ourselves down in the dumps. If asked what’s wrong, we’re likely to say we are just unhappy.
What we are ultimately talking about here are expectations. We are talking about our need for things, people, situations and life itself to show up in the manner that we desire, so that we can then be happy. And because things, people, situations and life itself often don’t show up exactly as we expect them to, we often find ourselves in a state of unhappiness.
In this podcast, we’re talking about how our need for certain outcomes, our expectations, keeps us from experiencing the sense of well being and happiness we so desire. We’re being reminded that we must stop waiting for everything to show up like we think it should and learn to take things as they come. We’re discovering that an expectation, is a premeditated resentment.
|09/20/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – More Alike Than Not|
|In the podcast entitled, embracing diversity, we delved into the idea that it is our differences that ultimately make life more interesting and make us stronger in the long run.
But when people behave in ways that don’t fit our desires, or our cultural or societal norms, we shun them. We tend to want everyone to be the same, to fall into an accepted mold. But in doing so, we fail to realize that this would thwart our individual and collective growth. And the ironically is, for all of our differences, we are probably more alike than we realize.
In this podcast, we’re taking the idea of embracing diversity one step further. We’re learning that for as different as we all are, and as much as those differences make life interesting, when it all comes down to it, we’re far more alike than not.
And by accepting that we are more alike than not, we become better able to create lasting relationships, and a sense of belonging. We create an atmosphere where true community can exist, which fosters the kind of growth that leads us towards the life of our dreams.
|09/27/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Learning to Love Your Scars|
|We all have moments in our lives that we wish never happened. We’ve all been through situations that we would never want to go back and do again. And due to these difficult experiences, most of us likely have scars, physical and emotional, that we wish we didn’t have. Often times we hold on to the hurt that caused the scars; particularly when caused by other people.
In this podcast, we’re looking at how the negative events we experienced in our lives, and the negative messages we took in from other, as a way to define ourselves, left scars that we not only need to accept, but that we also need to learn to embrace.
And in the process of doing so, we’re likely to see what life lessons they hold for us. We can begin to ask ourselves, Who might you not have been today if it weren’t for the rough patches? And when we put them into their proper perspective, and see where they brought us, we might even actually begin to be grateful for them. We might even learn to love them.
|08/02/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Who Am I?|
|The question, “Who am I?” is as old as mankind itself. From the time we are born, we begin the process of defining who we are.
And as most of us have already discovered, the way we define ourselves is very much dependant on how others have defined us. Thus we move through life thinking this or that about ourselves because that’s who we were told we were. But living the life we desire—the life of our dreams—requires us to commence defining ourselves. I requires that we begin to discover our own answers to that age old question of “Who am I?”
In this podcast we learn just how important answering this question is. We discover the power of “I am” when we recognize that whatever we think or say that follows these two words almost always dictates the choices we make.
Thus when you stick to the same old I am’s that you’ve always fallen back on, then the life you desire, and the becoming the person you want to be, is not very likely. Because like it or not, who you think you are, at your very core, is who you become.
|08/09/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Embracing Diversity|
|Humans tend to fear things that are dissimilar, especially when we’ve never been exposed to these things. It is likely just part of human nature to gravitate towards those things in our comfort zones.
This tendency to stick with what we know, doesn’t serve us though. It keeps us trapped in a very small worldview. It limits our choices and options. It breeds disharmony.
In reality, we would all likely be much better off if we faced our fears of those things that are different from us. We’d find life so much easier to navigate if we just learned that diversity isn’t something to avoid, it’s something to embrace.
In this podcast we discover that diversity in people, different skin colors, different cultures, different religions, different opinions, is what makes life interesting. If we were all exactly the same, life would be monotonous. By embracing our differences, instead of trying to make everyone conform to our ways of thinking and acting, we are better able to create much more interesting lives for ourselves.
|08/16/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Being of Service|
|The old saying says it’s better to give than to receive. But giving isn’t the opposite of receiving. It is part and parcel of it.
In this podcast we learn that giving and receiving are all part of the same energy; two sides of the same coin. And we discover that being of service is one of the quickest ways to attract to us what we desire for ourselves.
And this is because when we give something to someone else, our minds are forced to believe that we have that thing we are giving away—for you cannot give what you do not have.
Thus, if you want a life filled with mental, emotional and spiritual abundance, be of service. Because through service, we are reminded that doing for others is doing for ourselves.
|08/23/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Control|
|Many of us try to mold other people into being who we want them to be, or expecting them to think and act as we see fit. In other words, we resort to control.
Many of us will dispute the fact that we are exhibiting controlling tendencies. We will argue that we just have another’s best interest at heart. We just want them to be happy. But in reality, we want them to conform to our world view to make ourselves happy.
In this podcast, we come to recognize control as the illusion that it is. We learn that it is best to live our lives and let others do the same.
Doing so, will likely require us to deal with some of our own fears and anxieties, but if we want to live truly happy and healthy lives, we’re going to have to do that anyway. And in the end, it allows us to form relationships based in mutual acceptance instead of everyone having to mold themselves to fit someone else’s desires.
|08/30/2015 DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Creators of Our Own Reality
|It is very common for humans to see themselves a victims of circumstance. We assume the reality we experience is the direct result of myriad outside forces. We often deny the part we each play in the world in which we live.
But each and every time we hold on to the story of our past, instead of letting it go and creating something new, we think, choose and act in ways that creates an existence that supports our story. Every time we choose to see things the way we’ve always seen them, instead of being willing to alter our perspective, we more than likely create a reality that is stuck in the past. When we require life to show up in a certain way, or expect ourselves or those around us to fit a certain mode, we block all other possibilities and our life reflects it. Our failure to accept ourselves, others and life itself limits our choices; thus limiting our world. Our inability to create healthy supportive communities, ones that assists in fostering a sense of wellbeing, lead us to creating less than fulfilling lives. And history simply repeats itself.
In this podcast, we’re challenging the idea that we are at the affect of life’s circumstances and discovering that we are actually the cause of them – that we are the creators of our own reality.
Some come through life seeing themselves as victims, as unworthy, while others see themselves as stars, full of potential. And, in either case, we operate from our beliefs about ourselves through our thoughts, our choices and our actions; thus we create a world that reflects our deepest held beliefs.
|07/05/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Creating a Life of Abundance|
|When we think of abundance, the first word that comes to most people’s minds is likely wealth, or money. The most common idea about abundance is that it is about all of the things we have been able to acquire. It’s all about what we have.In this podcast we learn that although wealth can be a component of abundance, it’s not the entirety of it. We’ll discover that despite what we might think, abundance is not a state of having, it’s actually a state of being.
And in the end, we will see that the feeling of abundance is one that we choose or reject. We can either be the person who sees the incredible wealth that weaves itself through our lives each and every day, or we turn a blind eye to it and never be satisfied no matter what shows up. It’s up to us to decide.
|07/12/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Powerless, but Not Helpless|
|The concept of being powerless is one that gives great pause to many. Countless people face myriad problems and think that the only way to deal with them is to power through – mind over matter.
But the reality is that there are many things over which we have absolutely no power. We just resist admitting it because we ultimately equate it to helpless. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
In this podcast, we discover that the concept of being powerless merely suggests that we stop fighting; that we admit that there are certain aspects of ourselves and of life, that we can’t simply overpower. It suggests that the very act of constant struggling against those parts of ourselves that make us uncomfortable, actually strengthens those aspects. By resisting all the things that we deem negative, we actually give them more power.
Accepting this frees us to discover the choices we do have in any given situation. Acknowledging that we are powerless over people, places and things, allows us to discover the true power that we genuinely have. And ultimately we are beings with an immense amount of power.
Thus we learn that That power is the power over how things affect us. It is not the power to change the circumstances of the situation; it is the power to change how it influences our lives. In this we are empowered. By focusing on the power that we have, we can ease the pain and anxiety that many of us face in life.
|07/19/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Building a Support Network|
|Humans, by are very nature, are social beings. We crave connection. Each of us wants to feel seen, heard and accepted. In other words we want to be loved. But when we live in unhealthy situations long enough, many of us mistakenly begin to think that when it comes to living our lives, we have to go it alone.
In this podcast we find that “going it alone” isn’t really the best way to move ourselves forward. Without support, we just tend to fall back on the default beliefs and behaviors that got us where we are.
Thus, we learn that it’s best to create a truly healthy support system for ourselves. When we do this, we are better able to take risks and try out new ideas and behaviors. And the results are mental, emotional and spiritual growth that help us create the life of our dreams.
|07/26/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – You Better Think…Think…Think…|
|Our ability to think is what sets us apart from the rest of the living world. It’s the thing that allows us not just to live life, but to choose how we want to live it. It’s what lets us define life, as well as defining our place in this life.
In many ways, our thoughts are one of the greatest gifts we have been given; the ability to live life consciously. We don’t simply get to exist, we get to shape our existence.
Yet it is our greatest tool that we often wield as our biggest weapon, against others, and ourselves. The very same thing that gives us the ability to make choices, and to act on those decisions to create the lives we live, also keeps us trapped in old, and limiting, beliefs that can keep us stuck in a proverbial rut.
In this podcast we discover that when we live on autopilot, and let our thoughts run wild because that’s what they’ve always done, we shouldn’t at all be surprised that the outcomes aren’t what we want them to be.
So we must learn to monitor our thoughts. We then have to take it a step further and examine why we are thinking what we are.
We’ve got to think. And we have to begin to do so in a conscious manner. Because if our lives aren’t where we want them to be, but we’re not willing to change our thoughts, then we’re just going to remain where we are.
|06/07/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – How Important Is It?|
|Have you ever found yourself having had a hugely strong reaction to something, but when you look back on it in hindsight you wonder what the big deal was at the time, and why you reacted so strongly to it? Have you ever felt some emotion rise in you, much like lava in a volcano, you’re unable to stop it, and it erupts out of you even when you know that it really shouldn’t?
There are times, for nearly every one of us, when we find ourselves in these types of situations, where we know we are overreacting, while we’re in it, or in hindsight, but we just couldn’t stop ourselves. We realized that it was all in our head, at least on an intellectual level, but emotionally, it was as real as anything could possibly be.
So how do we stop that mental and emotional whirlwind that causes us to react instead of acting?
In this podcast we learn to ask ourselves a question that consists of four little words. We ask ourselves, “How important is it?
We can ask ourselves this most important question in nearly every dilemma we face. Sometimes we will assess that the situation really is important and that we need to give it proper attention. More often than not, though, we will soon begin to see the ridiculous amount of time we waste on trivial matters.
We will also learn that by doing this on a regular basis, we are likely to find our lives will become much less stressful. And the more we become more proficient at it, the more we ask ourselves just four little words, the more we will be able to direct our energies where they might do us some actual good.
|06/14/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Easy Does It|
|In the podcast entitled, Learning to Accept Yourself, we discovered that self acceptance is a process. It is not something we can accomplish overnight. It requires that we get really honest with ourselves, and take a good hard look at our beliefs and our actions – at true inventory of ourselves.
And honestly, looking at all aspects of ourselves can be time consuming. It’s also hard, and sometimes scary work.
In this podcast we’ll discover that if we try to tackle everything about ourselves all at once, we are bound to become overwhelmed. But when we find ourselves in this situation, we can remember to pull back, to let up just a little. We can remind ourselves, Easy Does It.
We’ll find that in many ways, it is our inability to have compassion for ourselves that drives us to judging ourselves, which in turn brings up feeling of shame. When our shame becomes more than we can handle, we head straight for denial. And where there is judgment, shame and denial, there cannot be acceptance.
And in the end, being gentle with ourselves during the process not only makes it more bearable, it’s actually readying us really look deeply into every aspect of our being. Thus, we learn to better accept ourselves.
|06/21/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Why Me?|
|We all, at some time or another, experience tough times. It’s just part of life.But most of us are not too happy when difficulties arise. We often feel like life is throwing a monkey wrench into things.It’s perfectly normal for us to seek out permanence and stability in our lives. This is just human nature.
It gives us a feeling of safety and security. But this is not the nature of life, and these things were never promised to us. Whether we like it or not, we, every single one of us, are in a constant cycle of life, death and rebirth. Such is the circle of life.
In these challenging moments, we may find ourselves asking, “Why me? This too, is also normal human behavior.
In this podcast, we will learn that the question, when we find ourselves in difficult situations, shouldn’t be, “Why me?” It’s really, “Why not me?”
We will also discover that it’s a waste of time ruminating on why this or that thing that you don’t like is happening to you. It’s happening because it’s happening. And it’s going to happen the way it happens whether you accept it or not.
Thus, much of the pain we experience is exactly what we decide it’s going to be, whether we do so consciously or not. Either we accept, and live life on life’s terms, or we suffer through it. It’s our choice.
|06/28/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Learning to Set Boundaries|
|In the podcasted entitled, The Importance of Learning to Trust, we learned that trust is a skill that has to be developed. Trust is not something to be taken lightly or given away freely. People need to earn our trust. When people mishandle it, we are not obligated to continue giving it. But withholding it altogether, out of fear that we will be let down, only serves to isolate us and ultimately stunt our overall growth.
Now that podcast focused on the importance of trust; the need to become willing to accept that we need each other and that this often requires some level of trust. But, admittedly, it didn’t go into details about how we learn to trust.But how do we deal with the people in our lives that we find challenging to deal with? How do we keep people from taking advantage of us? What do we do when we realize that we’re being manipulated?
In this podcast, we discover that the answer to all of these questions is boundaries. We learn that boundaries are simply personal guidelines we create for ourselves that define what behaviors directed at us are appropriate or not.
We’ll also come to find that boundaries are our way of honoring ourselves. It is our way of instructing people how to treat us. And if we don’t teach people how to treat us, they will simply treat us the way they want to.
So if we cannot, or will not, take on the task of learning to set boundaries for ourselves, then we will likely continue to feel victimized. But that feeling is not a fact. If we don’t set healthy boundaries for ourselves, then we’re not really victims, we’re volunteers.
|05/03/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Would You Rather Be Right, Or Happy?|
|How many times have we found ourselves in a situation with someone where he or she will not back down from an argument? No matter what, that person insists he or she is correct. Situations like this are often unpleasant and frustrating and we often don’t think very highly of people who must be right at all costs.We have to ask ourselves, though, how often do we do the very same thing? Our first reaction is likely that we’re not like that at all. But is that really the case? Are we more like the person who has to be right; only to lesser degrees?
How many disagreements could possibly be solved by simply harmoniously agreeing to disagree? It is possible. It merely requires us to change our perspective. It demands that we stop seeing the world from a self righteous viewpoint.
In this podcast we learn that when we find ourselves in one of those tense situations where we just have to prove our point, we can defuse the situation by asking ourselves, “Would I rather be right, or would I rather happy?”
We will find that momentary feeling of victory, of winning the point, or the whole match, is fleeting, because friction and strife is not likely getting you where you want to go. It is not creating stronger bonds. It is not moving you in the direction of personal growth. It’s really keeping you stuck.
We’ll discover that sometimes we simply have to decide between being right, or being happy. Because the reality is, that you can’t always be both.
|05/10/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Happily Never After|
|In Western Culture, we have been bombarded with the romantic notion that life is supposed to have a fairy tale ending. Men and women alike, many of us are waiting for everything to fall into place so we can live happily ever after. We have bought into in the idea that something or someone outside of ourselves will fill us up and make us complete.
We think that if we can obtain enough wealth, the right relationship, the right trappings, we will be complete. And even when we are able to obtain these material riches, we often fail to feel fulfilled. We have expectations of what will make us whole, yet the feeling we seek continually eludes us.
In this podcast, we delve into the idea that there comes a time when we simply must take responsibility for the lives we live. We see that we cannot continue to ask others to give of themselves in ways that are at their mental, physical or emotional expense. And we learn that if we find ourselves expecting another person to be or do things that is not true to them, simply so that we can feel whole, then we must reevaluate our own values.
And we come to the conclusion that if we continue to hold fast to old behaviors and outdated models of how life is supposed to work, and we continue to ask others to fulfill our desires simply because of our own expectations, then we’re pretty much guaranteeing ourselves happily never after.
|05/17/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Acting vs. Reacting|
|Have you ever found yourself having had a hugely strong reaction to something, but when you look back on it in hindsight you wonder what the big deal was at the time, and why you reacted so strongly to it? Have you ever felt some emotion rise in you, much like lava in a volcano, you’re unable to stop it, and it erupts out of you even when you know that it really shouldn’t?
There are times, for nearly every one of us, when we find ourselves in these types of situations, where we know we are overreacting, while we’re in it, or in hindsight, but we just couldn’t stop ourselves. We realized that it was all in our head, at least on an intellectual level, but emotionally, it was as real as anything could possibly be. Why is this?
How do we let things in our minds get so out of hand in the first place? Why do so many of us find ourselves overreacting to situations that do not warrant it? It goes right back to our story, our narrative that is merely a reflection of our deepest held beliefs about ourselves.
In this podcast we find that the feelings brought up by stressful situations, and the behaviors that accompany them, are often reactions – meaning to act as one has done in the past. Essentially we just repeat old emotions and old behavior.
We’ll learn that it’s better to act instead of reacting. We will discover that it’s often best if we can take a moment and observe vs. judge. And in doing so, we’re likely to find that our initial labels and judgments on things may not be as they appear, since we often cannot see the bigger picture at the moment
It’s all about a shift in perspective; one that allows us to determine how important something really is and if our feelings about a thing are about what’s really happening or based somewhere in our past. It is a skill that allows us to see the situation in a different way than we have before.
|05/24/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – The Ego vs. The Soul|
|There are some spiritual teachers that imply the ego is something we are trying to rid ourselves of. But the ego serves a purpose. And it’s not that we need to rid ourselves of ego, it’s that we need to see it for what it is, and put it in its proper place.
The ego is simply a tool. It is the tool we use to contextualize life for the purpose of experiencing life. And that’s just a fancy way of saying that the ego is the thing that makes choice possible.But, we’ll also see that because the ego’s purpose is to create the illusion of separation, and because it does its job so well, the majority of us lose sight of the fact that the ego is a tool, and we begin to see the illusion as reality.
In this podcast we’ll discover that the soul, meaning the part of us that is our true essence, is what we should come to depend on. We learn that the ego isn’t feeding us the truth about ourselves, and life itself, it merely created the context for us to experience that truth.
And in the end we’ll find that although the ego may think it’s in charge, but the soul will ultimately get it’s way.
|05/31/2015 DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Look at the Past, Don’t Stare
|Developing a life in which we feel whole requires us to look back at our past to get an accurate picture of why we are where we are. It requires that we look at the whole of our lives – the good and the bad.But for many of us, delving into the hard parts is scary. But we cannot ignore parts of the whole when the goal is to become whole. We cannot deny those things that caused us pain by avoiding or ignoring them. We need to find a way to keep the pain we will certainly encounter from overcoming us. And we can accomplish this by looking at the past, but not staring at it.
In this podcast, we learn that to successfully navigate the past we need constantly remind ourselves that although we are the sum total of our past, we aren’t stuck with it. The past may have brought us were we are, but it doesn’t have to dictate where we go. And we must remember that the point of looking back is to understand how it’s affected us.
And we find that when we take on the task of addressing those parts of us that aren’t so pretty, it’s helpful to have a tool that can talk us off the ledge when we forget that past is the past and mentally begin to relive and recreate those negative things about ourselves. That tool is, Look at the Past, Don’t Stare.
|04/05/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Keep the Focus on Yourself|
|In Al-Anon, a 12 Step Program for people who have been affected by another’s drinking, members remind each other to Keep the Focus on Yourself. For many, those five little words scream of selfishness. How can I simply stand by and watch someone I care about suffer, or self destruct, or die? How could I be so selfish?
In this podcast, we discover that this idea is not selfish at all, and it is not cruel. It is actually just the opposite. By focusing on ourselves, instead of the people around us, we learn to create boundaries. We learn that our actions play a part in everything that goes on around us. We take away many of the ways people blame us because we no longer meddle in their lives. When we stop involving ourselves in other people’s business, even if it means we have to see them deal with the consequences of their choices and actions, we then allow them to be dignified human beings with the same power to change their lives that we recognize in ourselves.
Ultimately, keeping the focus on ourselves is an act of accepting others for who they are. And it allows us to concentrate on changing the only people we can, ourselves.
|04/12/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Putting the Past in the Past|
|Many of us discount the idea that past events in our lives still affect us to this day. We have convinced ourselves that the past is in the past, we grew up, and now we’re over it. We tell ourselves that all that stuff, from all those years ago, no longer affects us.
There are those who fully admit that past events affect the present, but those who deny it, often end up blindly repeating the same patterns again and again, and find themselves totally confused as to why life is not going as they want it to.
In this podcast, you will hear a portion of Dr. Nadine Burke Harris’ Ted Talk on How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across a Lifetime. After hearing her, you’ll have a better idea of why is it so hard to escape the past and why it keeps reinserting itself into our lives, whether we openly acknowledge it or not.
We’ll learn that each of us must become willing to truly look at our past, truly examine it, and begin to see how it has, and still is, affecting our lives. Until we do, until we begin to process and heal some of these events, until we become willing to face up to the discomfort that comes from facing the truth, the past will never truly be in the past. It will continue to haunt the present, and our future.
|04/19/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Accentuate the Positive|
|In our quest to create the life of our dreams, and to be the people we’ve always imagined ourselves being, we must become willing to truly take a look at ourselves, take a personal inventory, so that we can get a better sense of our strengths and weaknesses.
Now this, admittedly, can seem downright overwhelming. In many ways, it can seem like we are on a mining expedition seeking out negativity. And if all we’re going to do is pick ourselves a part, then what’s going to be left? We might end up feeling like Swiss cheese – full of holes.
But we have to realize that coming to terms with our defects of character is only looking at part of the picture. If we concentrate only on our flaws and our weaknesses, then we are leaving out our strengths.
In this podcast we learn that an inventory is simply an accurate account of what you have and what you don’t. And what you have is just as an important part of the equation as what is lacking.
And we will ultimately find that a strong foundation, on which to build the life of your dreams, cannot be constructed from failures. They have to be built on our strengths. Our failures can serve to redirect us, but in the end, it will be the positive aspects of ourselves, our victories that will motivate us to keep moving forward, and out of the ruts of the past.
|04/26/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Life Isn’t Doing It to You, It’s Just Doing It|
|There are times in our all of our lives where if feels like everything is conspiring against us. The people in our lives are being difficult, or not living up to our expectations. Or, the events or circumstances of our lives aren’t showing up in ways that we desire, or are just downright difficult and unpleasant.
It’s very easy, when we find ourselves in these situations, to begin to have an overarching feeling that the world is against us; that our happiness, our very sense of well being is completely out of our hands. It feels like we cannot be complete unless everything falls into place in the way we imagined it would. It’s a belief that the lives of our dreams are obtained through outside sources; over which we have very little control.
In this podcast we learn that we are not the center of the universe, and that life, doesn’t have it out for us. Life is simply doing what life does and sometimes we simply get caught in the middle of it all. It’s not life that is making things hard for us, it’s our attitudes and responses to life’s events that cause us pain.
In the end, we discover that it is ultimately our responsibility to learn to take things as they come and make choices based on things (and people) as they are, and drop our the notion that they are supposed to be the way we want them to be.
|03/01/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Learning to Accept Yourself|
|Do you view yourself in a less than positive manner? Are there parts of you, or your life, that you avoid dealing with, or even thinking about? Are you really hard on yourself when you make a mistake, or aren’t perfect?
If you answered yes to any, or all of these questions, you’re probably in the need of a healthy dose of self-acceptance.
In this podcast, we learn that self acceptance is simply a way of looking at ourselves and our lives and assessing what’s working and what’s not. True self acceptance allows us to see all of our assets as well as our character flaws in a non-judgmental way. Self acceptance requires us to challenge the story we tell ourselves about ourselves. It invites us to objectively look at our lives, and our beliefs. And it allows us to sort through them and then begin to decipher what is actually true and what is not. In the end, we discover that self acceptance is self love. And ultimately, it is the realization that love is not obtained from outside of ourselves, and if love is what we seek, it is our responsibility to begin by looking within.
|03/08/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Stepping Stones vs. Stumbling Blocks|
|When you find yourself in a difficult situation, are you one that faces it head on, or do you use every trick in your bag to evade it? Are you a person that avoids pain at all costs? Do you fear that if the worst comes to fruition, that you’ll never be able to survive it – that it could just be the last straw?
There are a lot of us out there that try our darndest to dodge pain and discomfort any way we can. It is painful when we desire things to be a certain way and life seems to simply conspire against us. And it’s easy to think that challenges, and the pain that often accompanies them, might just break us. But maybe our thinking is off base. Maybe the pain we are feeling isn’t going to be our undoing. Maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe what life is throwing at us is simply resistance to make us stronger.
In this podcast, we discover that the difficulties life throws at us aren’t necessarily roadblocks that we have to work around, but they are actually opportunities to grow, to build own strength.
|03/15/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Compare and Despair|
|Is your life not where you want it to be, and you look at everyone else around you and think, Wow how is it they seem to have it all together? Do you feel stuck, like you’re in a rut, and you can’t understand why others seem to be able to move forward, but you can’t? Do you try to keep it all together, to be like a juggler and keep all of those different balls in the air, only to find yourself exhausted and feeling like a failure? And really, if you’re being honest, you’re only doing it because you don’t want others to think that you can’t?
Many of us go through life feeling tired and weary. We’re trying to do it all, or at least appear we are, and it about wears us down. We do so because we think that’s what’s expected from us in life. Everyone else seems to be able to do it, so we probably should too. Yet all we feel is trapped, in lives and situations that aren’t even exactly what we want. We just stay on that hamster wheel because we think it’s what’s expected of us. It’s how we measure up.
In this podcast, we take a look at how constantly comparing ourselves to others often results in us feeling bad about ourselves. As we compare ourselves to those around us, we see the seemingly perfect lives of others, and we just can’t understand why they can have it, but we can’t. But if we look a bit deeper, we soon discover that we can never truly know what’s going on in other people’s lives, no matter how it appears. Just because things appear to be idyllic on the surface doesn’t mean it is in actuality.
And when all is said and done, we learn to simply focus on our own forward motion. Because in the end, our growth, our personal evolution, is the true sign of a life lived successfully.
|03/22/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – We’ve Got Spirit, Yes We Do…|
|In this podcast, we delve into a subject that can be both intimidating, and downright uncomfortable for many people. We are talking about spirituality.
This conversation is not based on any specific religious beliefs, spiritual practices or dogma. It is also not meant to persuade you in one way or another when it comes to your spiritual beliefs – whether you have them or not.
It is an attempt to take a different look at spirituality, and how at least considering it, might play and important role in each of our personal development. Its aim is to help us understand our true essence. Its purpose is to help us understand that who we really are, isn’t rooted in all of the messiness that comes with being human, and to open us up to a new resource that we can to go to, to give us some relief from all of the hardships we face. And we learn that instead of trying to solve our problems using the same energy that is creating them, we can now tap into our true selves.
|03/29/2015 DIY for Your Soul Podcast – The Importance of Learning to Trust
|Have you ever told someone something personal and had them go off and tell someone else? Have you had someone in your life, that you truly thought had your best interest at heart, or at least should have had your best interest at heart, violate you in some manner?
Most of us have felt this on at least some level. We’ve had our trust violated. Yet we operate in a world of relationships and often have to rely on others in myriad ways. And like it or not, it requires a certain amount of trust.
In this podcast, we take on the importance of learning to trust. We learn that that trust is a skill that has to be developed, and that a true sense of wellbeing in our lives is dependant on developing that healthy sense of trust.
|02/01/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Learning to Accept|
|Are you perfectly happy with everything in our life? Are you exactly the person you always thought you would be? Have you created the life of your dreams? Can you look at yourself, and your life, and if asked if you would like to change anything, you can honestly say no?
If that’s you, if you are living out your dreams and you are completely satisfied with every aspect of yourself, then ignore this podcast and go about being and doing what you’re being and doing. You don’t need to waste your time on this.But the reality is that that isn’t most of us. And if truth be told, it probably isn’t any of us. Who doesn’t have at least some aspect of ourselves or our lives that we wouldn’t like to change, or improve on some level?
Yet for whatever reason, a great many of us find ourselves stuck when it comes to change. We avoid it at all cost and often simply don’t do it until it becomes too painful not to. And when we do finally reach the decision to make that change, many of us find it challenging and we simply give up.
In this podcast, we will talk about how those of us who feel stuck, likely find ourselves there because of our inability to accept people, places, things and events. We will delve into the idea that through learning to accept, we can then more clearly see all of the options before us, and more efficiently make the changes in our live that lead us to who we desire to be and lives we wish to lead.
|02/08/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Appreciating What You Have|
|Do you appreciate what you have in your life, or are you someone that is always looking for the next best thing? Do you find yourself letting things pass you by because you’re afraid that you’ll miss out on something better? Do you find yourself frustrated, and maybe even a little angry, at life because you feel like it isn’t providing you with what you need to make you happy?
Most of us would likely hear these questions and think to ourselves, “Well that’s not me. Yeah, sometimes I wish things were better than they are now, but I don’t complain like that.”The thing is, although most of us don’t see ourselves as whiny complainers, and for the most part we truly aren’t, even when scarcity subtly creeps into our beliefs and attitudes about ourselves and our lives, it can have a huge impact on our thoughts, our choices and our actions.
In this podcast we will learn that when we do not appreciate what we have, we make it that much harder for life to show up in ways that fulfill our dreams. It is through appreciation, that we open up space for ourselves to let abundance fully show up.
|02/15/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – The Blame Game|
|Do you have people in your life that you hold grudges against? Do you look back at your life and feel resentment and anger for what was done to you in the past? Do you feel like people, and situations, from long ago, or maybe even not so ago, have kept you from living the life you desire and being the person you truly want to be?
If so, you may be participating in the blame game. It is a game that many of us play, and we’re probably not even aware that we are doing so. And more importantly, it’s one that only serves to keep us stuck, that inhibits our ability to move forward and to create our dreams.
In this podcast, I am joined by Divya Parekh (www.divyaparekh.com), the founder of The DP Group, who has over 25 years of rich and varied experience as a university associate professor, scientist, biotechnology professional and global leadership wellness coach, as we talk about how letting go of blame can be a powerful catalyst for getting us out of the ruts that many of us find ourselves in.
|02/22/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – The Wasted Energy of Worry|
|Are you someone who hopes for the best, but prepares for the worst, so that if the worst happens you aren’t disappointed? Do you find yourself feeling anxious, not anticipation, but actual anxiety, when you’re waiting for some piece of information, or something to happen, be it good or bad? Would you, or others, classify you as a worrier?
Many of us grew up with people in our families who worried incessantly, and through the power of example, or osmosis, we also developed the tendency to agonize over what the future might hold. We desperately want positivity in our lives, or at least positive outcomes, and yet we know, deep down that we have limited power over what ultimately happens to us, and thus we fret over the possibility that things may not work out as we wish. Our view of life, at least at times, becomes overwrought with fear. We want what we want, but the fear of it not happening takes over our thoughts in the form of worry.
In this podcast, we will talk about how worry does not serve our overall sense of wellbeing, nor does it affect outcomes. We will learn that it only saps us of precious mental and emotional strength, thus it is merely wasted energy.
|01/04/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional|
|Do you find your life to less than enjoyable, like facing each day is a little bit of a struggle? Are there feelings that you are avoiding, because you fear that they will just be too painful to deal with, or that they’ll just stir up too much drama? Do you tell yourself that even though life isn’t all you want it to be, change is just too hard, and anyway, it’s just who you are?
In this podcast we will look at how our tendency to avoid pain, at all costs, often keeps us stuck in old patterns and behaviors that keep us from living the lives we desire and being who we truly want to be. We think we are avoiding suffering by avoiding pain, but in reality we’re feeding it. We will learn to distinguish between good pain and bad pain and thus, how to face pain head on, and use it towards our higher good.
|01/11/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – The Illusion of Perfection|
|How often to you feel inundated with life because it feels like people are expecting too much of you? It seems like no matter how much you give, it’s never enough. How often do you find yourself putting things off, because you are just so overwhelmed, that you just don’t know what to do next? How often do you avoid doing new things because you fear you’ll fail, or that you just won’t do it good enough? And on some level, you’re afraid of what others will think of you, that you’ll be judged as inadequate.
If you identify with any, or all of these, scenarios, you might be a perfectionist. And…you probably feel like you’re not living up to your full potential.
In this podcast we will discover that perfection doesn’t exist, at least in human terms. We will also discuss that it is our imperfections that allow us to make choices and created the lives that we desire, and that perfectionism generally serves only to hold us back from personal growth.
|01/18/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – The Pursuit of Happiness|
|Do you have a desire to be happy, but just can’t seem to make it come your way? Do you have happy moments, but can’t seem to hold on to them? Do you feel like you should be happy, but something is simply missing to bring it about?
Many of us exist in a world where we feel we are missing something in our lives. And what we believe we’re missing is happiness.
In this podcast we will discuss that seeking to be happy all of the time is likely leading us to unhappiness. We will learn that, although happiness is a wonderful feeling, it is not really possible to be happy all of the time, and that our real goal isn’t happiness, it is something much more attainable, and far more valuable in the end.
|01/25/2015||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – The Negative Impacts of Shame|
|Have you ever said or done something that you wish you wouldn’t have, so much so that if you never had to think of it again, that would be too soon for you? Have you done things, or had things happen to you in the past that are almost unspeakable in your mind? Have you pushed these instances away and hoped and prayed that no one ever found out about them? Has anyone, at any point in your life, made you to feel that something that you’ve said or done, or even something that was done to you without your consent, was so bad that you began to think that it wasn’t the circumstance that was wrong, that it was you, yourself that was wrong, or unworthy?
Every single one of us has likely felt at least one, if not more than one, of these things at some point in our lives. And what we were feeling was shame.
In this podcast we will discover that shame only serves to close things off, to shut us down, to force terrible feelings into the darkness, where we hope they cannot be seen, heard or felt. And that the more we give over to the darkness, the darker our thoughts, and our lives, become. We will learn that shame is one of the most harmful things humans have visited upon themselves.
|12/07/2014||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – The Negative Affects of Negativity|
|Do you tend to focus on the negative aspects of life? Are you more of a pessimist, or what some call a realist, more than an optimist?
Many of us live our lives in various levels of fear and those fears color how we see the world. And negativity is one of the ways our minds attempt to protect us from those things we are afraid of. Negativity steers us away from taking chances and from uncertainties. But all of this comes at a price. And the cost is our failure to live the lives we truly desire, and being the person who we’ve always imagined ourselves being.
In this podcast we will be looking at how negativity has an overall negative affect on our lives and how we go about recognizing it in ourselves and then beginning to challenge it.
|12/14/2014||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – And When We Are Wrong|
|When you do something wrong, make a mistake, or say something that you know you shouldn’t have, do you immediately admit you were wrong, or do you practice avoidance, or even make excuses and rationalize your behavior? A lot of us, whether we admit it or not, fall into the latter category.
Many times, we knowingly do something wrong, or act in a manner that does not show us in our best light, and either because of embarrassment, or that we are simply head strong, we begin to rationalize our behaviors. We convince ourselves that it was the situation, or the actions of another, that caused us to behave in the way that we did. And if that hadn’t happened, we wouldn’t have said, or did, what we said or did. We give ourselves a free pass. We’re not wrong. We were provoked. Thus we were justified in our actions or our words.
In this podcast we will look at how our inability to admit when we are wrong is more of a sign of weakness than strength. We will learn that taking personal responsibility not only lifts a huge emotional weight off of our shoulders, it also tends to improve our relationships.
|12/21/2014||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Other People’s Opinions of Me Are None of My Business|
|Are you someone who is worried about what other people think of you? Are you currently in a career, or on the path to a career, that isn’t really what you dreamed of doing, but this is what other people, probably family in this scenario, want you to do, and you’re afraid that if you don’t do it, there will be repercussions, maybe even that you’ll be ostracized or cast out? Do you find yourself avoiding trying new things because you are afraid that you’ll be made fun of by others? Do you find yourself watching everything you say, constantly thinking about how others will perceive it, always wanting to keep the peace, not wanting conflict or afraid that someone will not like what you said?
Many of us find ourselves in these situations, or with these thoughts running through our head, at least on some level. For some, it rules the way they live their entire lives, while for others, it only comes up on occasion.In this podcast, I am joined by my friend and colleague, Russ Terry (www.russterrylifecoach.com) as we discuss the importance of living lives that reflect our true selves, and not someone else’s version of who we are supposed to be. We will discover that it is us who decides who we are; that others do not define us unless we allow them to.
|12/28/2014||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Creating Community|
|Have you ever found yourself feeling that, in life, you’re going it alone? Does it sometimes feel like the things you’ve gone through in your life a unique solely to you? Do you ever find yourself thinking, Oh God, why do I have to do everything around here? Why am I the only person that can do it right? Are you the type of person that thinks it’s up to you to figure it all out, that asking for help is a form of weakness? When things are rough, are you the type the retreats into him or herself, with the tendency to isolate instead of reaching out to others?
A lot of us can identify with some, or even more than some of these scenarios. We can be surrounded by people, friends and family, and yet we still feel alone, or that we’re going it alone, especially when the going gets rough.
In this podcast we will delve into the need to create community for ourselves. We will learn that it is our responsibility to surround ourselves with people who support and accept us as we are, and only have our best interest at heart. It is our job to surround ourselves with love. And when we do so, we’ll never feel alone again.
|11/02/2014||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Drafting the Blueprint of Your Life|
|We all have desires and aspirations. We have dreams for ourselves and what kind of lives we want to live. Many of us, however, aren’t quite sure how to go about creating those dreams.
This podcast delves into the concept that each of us is the architect of our respective lives. And to create our dreams, we must start by putting into place, a vision—the blueprint—of what you want your life to look like, and who we want to become.You’ll discover just why this is so important, and walk away with some tips on drafting your own blueprint.
|11/09/2014||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Perspective – How a Change in the Way You See Things, Can Change Everything|
|Did you know that changing the way see yourself, others and life itself can change the way your world shows up?
Because of our own stories and our own experiences, our viewpoint on life can be limited. We know only what we’ve been taught, or what we’ve experienced, and we make most of our decisions based on what we know.
Life constantly forces us to make choices. Yet if those choices are limited by how we approach things, then the outcomes are limited as well.
In this podcast, we will discuss how changing your perspective, your point of view, even slightly, can open you up to a whole new outlook on life. We’ll look at how the willingness to see things as you’ve never seen them before, puts you on the path to expanding your world.
And although the circumstances of life may not shift, changing your perspective can alter your options and provide you with more choices. And that small change, changes everything.
|11/16/2014||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Learning to Distinguish Between Needs and Desires|
|Are you someone who has trouble being happy if things don’t go your way?
In this podcast, we will address how human beings often have a hard time distinguishing desires from needs. We’ll discuss how we often move through life believing that we cannot be happy unless all of our desires are fulfilled.We’ll talk about how this holds us back, and why getting everything you desire, isn’t always the best thing in the end anyway.
|11/23/2014||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Put Some Gratitude in Your Attitude|
|Do you naturally focus on what’s good in your life, or what’s missing? Do you generally see all that you have, or pine for all that you’re missing?
In this podcast, we will be looking at Gratitude and how being consistently grateful is one of the most important habits we can create. Well talk about how gratitude is magnetic; that the more grateful you are, the more life gives you to be grateful for.
You will also be hearing my colleagues Holistic Organizer, Clutter Coach, and Holistic Wellness Practitioner, Tracy K. Pierce, owner of Synergy Organizing and Synergy Wellness (www.synergyorganizing.com) and Filomena Iorio-Tasoluk, owner of Bounce Life Coaching (www.bounce-life.com) talk about their views on gratitude and how they have used it in their own lives.
|11/30/2014 DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Take the Action and Let Go of the Results
|Does the idea of doing new things scare you, almost to point that you are paralyzed? Do you have ideas floating around in your head, and you’re sure they are really great, but you never do anything about them because you don’t know where to start? Do you know what you need to do next, but you’re stuck because you fear you’ll make a mistake, or you’ll fail?
If any of this describes you, don’t fret, you’re just one of many people in the same boat.
In this podcast, we will be talking about overcoming our fears of failure and not knowing, that often keeps us feeling like we’re in a rut. You’ll also hear from Teresa, who spent the better of 25 years in the investment banking industry, and then at 45, decided she wanted a new direction, to change course, and is now a student.You’ll hear her tell you how she is able to do this, how she overcomes her fears and doubts, by simply taking actions, and letting go of the results.
|10/05/2014||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Introducing DIY for Your Soul|
|In this introductory podcast, you will learn more about Tim Billiter and what the DIY for Your Soul concept is all about.|
|10/12/2014||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – The Story of You|
|In this podcast, we will delve into the story that each of us carries around about ourselves; the story that we tell ourselves about ourselves and our place in the world. The Story of You, which essentially makes up your internal narrative, is the basis of your beliefs about yourself, and life itself. And it is those beliefs that dictate your thoughts, your choices and your actions. Thus your life directly reflects, The Story of You.|
|10/19/2014||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Don’t Go to the Hardware Store for Oranges|
|This podcast addresses the fact that many of us look for love, acceptance and support from people that have consistently shown us that they are unable to give us what we need. We will discuss how our frustrations of not getting our emotional needs met is often because of the choices we make. It calls us to accept the people in our lives as they are, and to seek out support from those that are willing and able to give it to us in the manner that we need.|
|10/26/2014||DIY for Your Soul Podcast – Think for Yourself|
|In this podcast, I am joined by Connie Rogers, who is a Certified Integrative Holistic Health Coach, and a 37 year Certified Cosmetologist, and the Founder and Owner of Bite Size Pieces (www.bitesizepieces.net). We will be talking about the need to challenge old beliefs and ideas that limit our ability to live the lives that we desire, and to fully be the people we imagine ourselves being. Connie shares an incredibly powerful story about overcoming the obstacles of her upbringing and how she personally challenged those messages to create her dreams.|